A Case Of the EX
so me and my x-boyfriend broke up about a little over a year ago. it took me a while to get the strenght to talk to him again or whatever. when i did it seemed like nothing happened between us. we would only talk for about 30-45 minutes and the calls came about once every week, then everyday. i didn't know if i wanted to get that close to him again but that's what ended up happening. i knew that he was going to hurt me again and he did. i found out he was dating his ex girlfriend again and i was so pissed. so anyways he walks back in my life telling me how proud of me for graduating and going off to school, asking if i need him to buy me anything and promising to come by my house but then never shows up. i call to see what happened and he doesn't pick up his phone. it's like i'm tired of setting myself up for the failure but i continue to do it. should i keep letting him tell me sweet nothings in my ear or just leave his ass alone? why do guys do that sh*t anyway, tell you one thing and do the opposite? advice from both genders please!!!!
I know it's easier said than done, but I would suggest cutting the situation. When you put yourself in a situation that you already know has great potential for failure, it's kinda difficult to blame someone else for what happens. The longer you hold stick around, the more difficult it will be to let go and years down the road you will wonder why you held on for so long. You may miss out on some good things by trying to force a situation that has no flow. So if it's necessary to cut dude all together, then you just have to say goodbye.
As for the second question of why guys do the things we do....it's a difficult question to answer, but I'll do my best. Although emotions affect us much more than most of us would like to admitt, in the end most guys think logically and in linear terms. So if it looks like there's a chance that we can "have our cake and eat it too", most find that an offer too good to pass on. So we tend to treat relationship situations as we would something like deciding what car to keep, "If I have two, I can always take one and pick the other up later. Or if one starts acting up, I always have a spare." I know it sounds harsh, but that's how a lot of fellas think and it's really not aimed at hurting you. In most cases, he just couldn't see the chain of events that he set in motion with this theory until it explodes down the road. And sometimes, it's not us but that's a topic for another day.......
So I said all that to say this.....it a part of the maturation process. A lot of us actually turn out pretty good and we take off the blinders that had us doing silly things before. I know that I don't do those types of things and I know many other brothers who do their absolute best to do things the right way. The best thing I can say for now is just have a little patience and be aware of what's happening around you. Things will work out. Good luck to you.