Complex--Relationship (I Need Advice)
..."What we've got here is a failure to communicate"
Right now, I'm in a (as he calls it) "Complex Relationship" with the guy in the picture (Chris) I think he's just afraid of actually being tied down with someone. I'm more than ready to end this cycle of singleness, and actually be able to say I have a boyfriend again.
I guess I can start off with the birthday party...Everyone knows that my party was the joint of the year. Everyone who is anyone was at my party. My dad invited people such as Farnsworth Bentley (who I've been crushin' for years) and a host of others to my party. Chris gets upset when I entertain him. So after the party he came up with the "Complex Relationship" Bull. Was it my fault? I didn't show him that much attention, but he knows he's the only one I want to be with. I don't know what to think about this one. Then, Last night he calls and takes me out for Ice Cream....We ended up arguing over that. Is it just not meant to be? He trys to act so "Gangsta" while around others, but when it's just the two of us he's all kind-hearted. I'm just all confused.
I don't know what I'm doing. I have a friend who swears he's waiting for a "train wreck" before getting involved with someone, which means finding a connection so instant and strong you have no choice but pay attention. When I was younger, I used to read books where people would come in contact with their soul mates and they could feel a jolt when they touched for the first time, and their love would spiral from there. Maybe I'm waiting for that.
All my relationships have evolved slowly, usually either full of drama or so painstakingly slow that I just felt relieved when they finally started. It's a frustrating way to fall in love. The drama, I'm good at - having patience is where I run into problems.
It's not like I'm husband-hunting - I'm not worried that the next person I'm with will be the guy I'm with my whole life. I'm not trying to be too careful. I'm looking for someone who will make me happy, now. Someone I can count on to make me happy later - just not necessarily for the rest of my life. I know I've still got a few good heartbreaks left in me. Maybe dozens.
The thing is, maybe I should try a little harder. Stop subconsciously waiting for my soul mate and start paying more attention to the relationship style I seem to be good at - that slowly blooming flower of emotions that, eventually, becomes what I'm looking for. A love that I've nurtured instead of stumbled on. Something like that.
Or maybe not. They say love only finds you when you're not looking for it. But if I try not to look for it, aren't I really just pretending? I don't think that's the point - but it makes me wonder who these "They" people are that make up these sayings. Did "not looking for it" work for them? Or are they still home on Saturday nights, too, watching TV and feigning indifference?
Please give me some advice someone. I really like this one.
Right now, I'm in a (as he calls it) "Complex Relationship" with the guy in the picture (Chris) I think he's just afraid of actually being tied down with someone. I'm more than ready to end this cycle of singleness, and actually be able to say I have a boyfriend again.
I guess I can start off with the birthday party...Everyone knows that my party was the joint of the year. Everyone who is anyone was at my party. My dad invited people such as Farnsworth Bentley (who I've been crushin' for years) and a host of others to my party. Chris gets upset when I entertain him. So after the party he came up with the "Complex Relationship" Bull. Was it my fault? I didn't show him that much attention, but he knows he's the only one I want to be with. I don't know what to think about this one. Then, Last night he calls and takes me out for Ice Cream....We ended up arguing over that. Is it just not meant to be? He trys to act so "Gangsta" while around others, but when it's just the two of us he's all kind-hearted. I'm just all confused.
I don't know what I'm doing. I have a friend who swears he's waiting for a "train wreck" before getting involved with someone, which means finding a connection so instant and strong you have no choice but pay attention. When I was younger, I used to read books where people would come in contact with their soul mates and they could feel a jolt when they touched for the first time, and their love would spiral from there. Maybe I'm waiting for that.
All my relationships have evolved slowly, usually either full of drama or so painstakingly slow that I just felt relieved when they finally started. It's a frustrating way to fall in love. The drama, I'm good at - having patience is where I run into problems.
It's not like I'm husband-hunting - I'm not worried that the next person I'm with will be the guy I'm with my whole life. I'm not trying to be too careful. I'm looking for someone who will make me happy, now. Someone I can count on to make me happy later - just not necessarily for the rest of my life. I know I've still got a few good heartbreaks left in me. Maybe dozens.
The thing is, maybe I should try a little harder. Stop subconsciously waiting for my soul mate and start paying more attention to the relationship style I seem to be good at - that slowly blooming flower of emotions that, eventually, becomes what I'm looking for. A love that I've nurtured instead of stumbled on. Something like that.
Or maybe not. They say love only finds you when you're not looking for it. But if I try not to look for it, aren't I really just pretending? I don't think that's the point - but it makes me wonder who these "They" people are that make up these sayings. Did "not looking for it" work for them? Or are they still home on Saturday nights, too, watching TV and feigning indifference?
Please give me some advice someone. I really like this one.
Maybe...just maybe...you're going after the wrong guys. This guy appears to be insecure with his relationship with you. If he was secure, he wouldn't have tripped on you entertaining someone who you've had a CRUSH on...and not actually LOVED like you do LOVE him.
And you don't need to try harder. The harder you try, the more they fly. Stick to being yourself, and going at your pace. The right guy will come along sooner or later.