Having a brain disorder such as Bipolar means that sometimes I experience periods of grandiosity. Grandiosity is feeling extreme happiness or glory. Now, that can be verrrry damaging because here is what happens: I actually believe I am some rich or famous person or that I have wealth or I can do super-human things!
Of course, that is harmful to myself in many ways. For example, I once believed that I was Mrs. Thurgood Marshall! Yep, I sure did. Now, when an individual is in this "mode" he or she can write bad checks, make extreme and costly purchases, break laws such as forgery, etc. When I am experiencing "grandiosity," there is absolutely nothing anybody can tell me to convince me that I am not that "rich" person. This is the type of behavior that causes so much shame and embarrassment about the mental illness as well.
So, I was signing my name to everything as if I was Mrs. Thurgood Marshall and I kept "preaching" about the injustices of being black. I was angry and frustrated over losing my job and that triggered my Bipolar episode. (Anger accelerates chemicals causing an imbalance) [God Said, do not go to bed angry. Hmmmm].
Once the medication was absorbed into my body, my reality of who I was returned and I was blessed to have a family member get me out of some jams. For instance, I had signed all the hospital papers as Mrs. Thurgood Marshall and that presented some health law complications with treatment. This is a little humorous story, but can you see how it can be very harmful, too? Thus, it is so important to take medications as prescribed.
Now, my "grandiose" behavior only contibuted to the shame and embarrassment of my family. It also made me quite embarrassed when I was stabilized and realized what I had done. I could not find a rock to crawl under fast enough. That also leads to depression because of the embarrassment to yourself and family and the dignity you sacrifice. I hated myself for not being able to control myself, but the mind is too affected by the imbalance of brain chemicals.
The medications become the major player in restoring me to mental wellness. My family's support helped get me through the humility. The entire experience helped me to realize that a mental wellness plan was necessary to avoid "grandiosity."
So, if you or a family member experience grandiosity, seek mental healthcare immediately and do not pass it off as him or her just being "crazy" and "irrational" behaviors. Do not make fun of the family member because they need medical attention right away and they have no ability to rationalize their behavior so do not waste your time while he or she is in that "mode."
Instead, I say coax and assist him or her into minimizing the damage as much as possible while you guide them to a mental healthcare profesional. This may include your need to be with that person at all times or keep them inside the house. The last time I had a grandiose experience was about four years ago and I called my aunt and she took me to the hospital. She went right along with my "story" about being Mrs. Thurgood Marshall to get me to the hospital. Her goal was to get me to the hospital safely and let the professionals take over. Praise Him! (Yes, we openly laugh and talk about some of the silly things I said, but she understands and even laughing at times can be therapeutic. However, my family does not simply dismiss me as a lunatic...anymore).
Today, I wish that people would reach out to that person experiencing grandiosity and guide them to a mental healthcare professional. What can you do to help a family member or friend get the mental help he or she needs?
Check these sites for more information on Bipolar:
www.NAMI.org; www.nmet.org Agnes ~ Too Wise Not To Praise Him!
Author of "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bipolar Woman" ISBN 0975461206 Winter Release Pending -
www.myspace.com/coolingwellwater
Posted By: agnes levine
Monday, August 25th 2008 at 4:04AM
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