Some things are easy to let go and some are not as they seem to be.
I feel like I missed out a lot in some parts of my past.
Why do I wonder if I "should have been" more comfortable with who I was, or focused on what was important; "what would have happened".
I want to be free from this cage of "what if's" and move into the door of "Everything is the way it's supposed to be".
Am I telling God "I trust you, but I'm not sure, I'm scared. I can't let go, I feel like I missed out on something back then."
But when the waves of emotional scars of the past ease, I can see things clearer.
I understand that I was protected from things I could not see. (Everything seems enticing until you start to unwrap the package or open a book.)
I understand that the thoughts of "what if's" are just illusions to distract me from what is really important in my life.
I know sometimes I fall into temptation to see if anything has changed, and I realized they have not especially when it is about a certain individual I have allowed to have an emotional impact in my life.
I realize that the individual did not change as I did, and I don't need him/her to release me from my chains of "scars" that he/she had caused intentionally or unintentionally.
I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND AT PEACE WITH MYSELF!!!!
I realize the truth is in my face and I toss it to the side saying "it isn't enough to convince me to let go".
I believe I go through these tests to become stronger and to finally say "I don't need to hold on to it anymore". (TRUST THAT THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON)
One day I believe I will be able to help someone who will have a similar situation like mine.
Thanks for listening. (^_^)
Posted By: Candice Johnson
Monday, February 5th 2007 at 12:31AM
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