As I was looking through my archived articles written by others, I came across this one written a few years ago by Tavis Smiley for one of his US Weekend.com columns. There also is much to be said for who one's "real" friends are.
Issue Date: September 2, 2001
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How a pink slip can fire you up
Contributing Editor Tavis Smiley recently lost his dream job as a talk-show host. But the blow turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Here's how you, too, can navigate life's bad turns.
By Tavis Smiley
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"It isn't the worst thing in the world for somebody to push you out there, because you get a chance to truly test your value."
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"In March of this year, I went through an ordeal familiar to millions of other Americans: I was unexpectedly fired from a job I loved -- host of my own nightly BET talk show. Although my firing made national headlines and prompted protest marches, losing a job is always a public -- and potentially humiliating -- experience.
Nobody gets fired under a bush. Your family and friends know, your co-workers know. I found that although the experience was among the most trying times of my life, it turned out, ultimately, to be the most rewarding. Sometimes in life it isn't the worst thing in the world for somebody to push you out there, because then you get a chance to truly test your value. Value, I learned, is not what you think of yourself but what others think of you.
I rebounded and then some, landing what was called a history-making multimedia deal with ABC News, ABC Radio Network, CNN and National Public Radio. At the same time, I'm writing two books for Doubleday.
How did I get through? My viewers may remember I closed the show every night for five years with the same three words: "Keep the faith." That's exactly how I closed this chapter of my life.
Here are the five biggest lessons this experience taught me:
Look high -- and low. There's a Scripture from the book of Isaiah that says: "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint." But there's one thing Isaiah didn't tell me: People throw food on the ground for pigeons, but they shoot at eagles. Sometimes when you're soaring right along like an eagle, out of nowhere someone will take a shot at you. So you have to keep your eye on what's going on.
Don't count on your chickens. I like to think of my friends as two parts of an egg-and-ham sandwich: Some friends are like egg-laying chickens, and some are like ham-producing hogs. The chickens can come by and lay an egg and keep on moving without any big sacrifice. But for you to enjoy the ham, that hog has to make the ultimate sacrifice. When you go through an ordeal like this, your friends are on trial with you. You learn pretty quickly which ones are chickens and which ones are hogs who will actually put themselves on the line for you. All I can say is, thank God for those hogs.
Lose the "why me?" woes. When you get into a difficult situation, you don't always understand what brought you there. You say: "Why is this happening to me? I didn't do anything wrong." But every hard time you go through is ultimately just a situation for revelation. You don't always understand what the revelation is at that moment, but you have to learn to trust the process. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." Don't get caught up in the blame game; just trust the process, keep your head up, and move on.
Don't worry, be optimistic. I never, ever worried about what was going to happen next for me. And with all humility, I don't know anybody who knows me well who did not expect me to land on my feet. Not because I'm so much more talented than the next guy, but because my attitude is always one of "I can. I will. I must. I shall." I've learned that some people succeed and some people fail, but those with a healthy attitude always go on. When you're really passionate about what your purpose in life is, there always will be some new opportunity for you to do whatever you were put here to do. In the end, it always works out.
Draw on your own wisdom. The irony of all this is that when I looked back, I realized that I knew these four things all along. We all have overcome something before. We all have endured before. We all have succeeded before. Sometimes, when you're going through something difficult, it just takes stopping and being silent and still and remembering the last time you went through an ordeal and survived it. It's difficult to remember when you're in the midst of the storm, but if you can just find that place to be silent and still, you can be encouraged."
Posted By: Jane L. Wilson
Friday, August 4th 2006 at 4:45PM
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