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"Love & Circumstance" (76 hits)

Reaching out for someone to hear me vent my frustration over a love gone wrong, I was asked of the listener for that time, "What do you plan to do about YOUR life now?
As I stumbled for words of response, I could only reach back and say that I just wanted to call the former (so-called) guy friend and tell him off.
In an expected response to my answer, the listener asked me, "Why? He's moved on, so what would be your point?
My answer, "There isn't a point." I was searching for someone to join my bitterness toward that former male pal, but I found instead an inner peace.
I chose to allow myself to be degraded, belittled, and humiliated by staying in an extremely dysfunctional relationship, and it was up to me to let go and begin the healing process. And, although I'd attempted several times before to move on, for some reason this time is different.
I, too, like many other females happily living on this earth, deserve to be happy in a relationship. So, I suppose, in reality, I was an enabler, insofar as I was empowering someone else to treat me in an un-Godly manner and I was being pulled deeper and deeper into the quick-sand.
Anyway, I am working on forgiveness, but this time forgiving means truly letting go.

Jane L. Wilson

Posted By: Jane L. Wilson
Wednesday, April 13th 2005 at 4:33PM
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Forgiving does mean letting go, but who are you forgiving? You need to forgive yourself first and then try to move on. And don't do it b/c you want to show him that you have moved on, do it for YOU!
Wednesday, April 13th 2005 at 7:21PM
C. R. Lewis

Forgiveness as far as the end of a given relationship does mean forgiving one's self as well as the other party. And when I use the word forgiveness, I use it with the broadest of meanings.

As for moving on, I don't believe I've ever did it to show anyone other than myself, that life does go on. In other words, the other person typically doesn't give a crap what you do, so what would be the point in attempting to show that person anything?

Also, learning to forgive myself is a key element in my (or anyone else's) healing process and that is really what I meant by "working on forgiveness."

Afterall, I had allowed myself to take the years of emotional battering and I was the only person who could stop it, and I chose to keep that door open. Recently, however, I slammed that door shut, boarded it up, placed a stream of padlocks on it, turned and walked away.

Let me tell you, everyday it gets easier and easier to smile. And the sky does look so much brighter.

Jane L. Wilson
Thursday, April 14th 2005 at 11:39AM
Jane L. Wilson

Wow.. Very deep, I went through and have done the same and blogged on before.
Standing ovation Sis.
I have told people to look at selves many times in failed relations and many times they fall on deaf ears and go on to repeat and always blame.
Have counseled a lot in relations.
Wednesday, July 5th 2006 at 9:32AM
WILLIAM W. HEMMANS III