Staring out the window, looking out at the stars.
Searching telepathically, wonder where you are.
I'm in my 1st foster home at the age of 5.
My younger sister, brother and momma are out of sight of mind.
I tried to be the man in your place, I have failed and I am such a disgrace.
I promised momma, sister and brother your family, I would be their saving grace.
I don't know where they took your wife tonight.
I guess President Nixon didn't think she was right.
I'm trying to be a man and not cry,
For I know you'll come get us tonight right?
Oh daddy where are you, do you even care to know?
The room is stank, crowded and infested, don't you care to know?
I was in the back of a police car, my sister, brother and I,
I was strong, I did not cry, I was a big boy, I dried their eyes.
That 1st police station was scary, all white and cold...
Note: My other thoughts at that time?
Who is God? No one has ever told me?
The 1st concepts of God to a child is the parent/parents.
My 1st memory of ever praying was at that age of 5.
World what did I do wrong?
God, what did I do wrong?
Who is God?
No one has ever told me...
*Here begins the quest to grow, to surpass his match that would climax 22 years later. After a viscious beating in an alley by a man and his crew, defending my sister at the age of 15 in Michigan City, Ind (named Boogalo), in which I never sought medical attention. This was the beginning of my adversity to seeking medical attention, I rather heal on my own. More about this in my book.
From that beating I made an oath...
From there as a teenager the next day, I began to workout. I started at 55 lbs for one rep at a body weight of 73 lbs while a girl in the same gym was bencing 75lbs. *See my photo at my webpage listed here of me when I was 10 years of age, I was not far from that size and that gives you a aspect of what I am saying here*.
That say teenager would develop an unbridled zeal painfully inching upward to benchpress 300 lbs for reps, deadlift 500 lbs and regularly work up to 600lbs for leg workouts after reaching a goal of a 425lb squat(8 45 pound plates on a 45 lb bar).
Another blog would have to be done to encompass that meeting day between him and I, Man to male(Him)...
Time is the great equalizer (Ecclesiates 9:11).
I promised my mother revenge at the age of 5 in that dark motel room w/o food or $$$, her crying, me automatically drying her tears with my words with Hollywood Squares(Game Show) playing in black and white.
This after the betrayals of mother, suspensions from school starting in elementary, risk of life and even being kicked out of HighSchool (Manatee High) 3 weeks from graduation, the same day I had came back from a 2 week suspension, maybe a month after the death of My GrandDaddy who got all of us out of that last hell hole foster places...
I did come back and graduate the next year. The 1st of many come backs after disappointing defeats.
Through it all, I always accomplished. I always triumphed... I defeated all.
All God, never me except choice...
Fighting to live spiritual is my greatest battle out of all the fields I have adopted to survive and thrive on.
Posted By: WILLIAM W. HEMMANS III
Monday, January 23rd 2006 at 4:22PM
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