Something I found on the internet fo tha ladies
For the Ladies
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean, when a man is in your bed,
gasping for breath, and
calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious
odors, and half the time they don't work.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in
between his neck, and the noose.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook...they eat. We clean...they dirty. We
iron...they wrinkle.
How is Colonel Sanders, like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the difference between Big Foot, and an
intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft, before creating your masterpiece.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds, they forget what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm, to fertilize
one egg?
Because not one will stop, and ask for directions.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring, and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
Why is psychoanalysis, a lot quicker for men, than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's
already there.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND ANY MALE WITH THESE I JUST WANTED TO SHARE WHAT I FOUND WITH OTHER WOMEN.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
What does it mean, when a man is in your bed,
gasping for breath, and
calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious
odors, and half the time they don't work.
How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in
between his neck, and the noose.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook...they eat. We clean...they dirty. We
iron...they wrinkle.
How is Colonel Sanders, like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
What's the difference between Big Foot, and an
intelligent man?
Big Foot's been spotted several times.
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
Why did God create man before woman?
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft, before creating your masterpiece.
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds, they forget what happened.
Why does it take 100 million sperm, to fertilize
one egg?
Because not one will stop, and ask for directions.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
caring, and good looking?
They all already have boyfriends.
Why is psychoanalysis, a lot quicker for men, than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's
already there.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO OFFEND ANY MALE WITH THESE I JUST WANTED TO SHARE WHAT I FOUND WITH OTHER WOMEN.
