Random Thoughts

At the end of the day it's your life not the rest of the worlds, and you have to live with the decisions you make not the rest of the world, so do what makes you happy. If your decision causes the people you care about to cut you off, then they really weren't for you to begin with

Ultimately your college experience is what you make of it. If you focus and apply yourself, you'll develop talent and it will show in everything you do. Don't worry about diploma snobs. Ultimately it is not them that must live with your decision.

Sometimes to move forward you have to stretch your limits. Del State & Morgan State aren't that far away where you can't get home on a weekend. If you're still not sure, take a couple days during the week and visit the campus. It should give you a feel for what things will be like.

i was in a similar situation, asking the same questions as you, and a friend of mine told me something that i live by today. "accept no one's definition of your life, define it yourself." you're old enough to make your own decisions and choices. you're also old enough to change your mind. if you decide you'd like to go to an hbcu (where ever you choose), do it. check it out and see how you like it, you can always decide to leave if it's not what you hoped, but you won't know unless you put yourself out there. trust me. i moved from kansas to go to school in dc. total culture shock for me...but as soon as i adjusted, i fell in love. only you know what's best for you, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hey girl! Let me first commend you on having the guts to admit that you are torn. Some folk have no self awareness and follow others without blinking. At least you are honoring your true feelings! Thinking about it is the first step towards self fulfillment and maturity. As a graduate of an HBCU - coming from a family that did not understand why I wanted to go 800 miles away - I can tell you that it was the best academic AND social move that I made thus far! Let me correct you by saying this...you stated that you tried to convince your fam that you will be getting the same education and experience at an HBCU as you would another college or university. This I can testify to being totally false. You get MORE at an HBCU!!! There is no way I would have met the magnitude of people I did, learned as much about myself, my culture, and deeper into the curriculum AND develop one-on-one relationships with my professors at a local community college around the corner in Queens somewhere! Ya heard?! Here's what you do...fill out the applications and get yourself in gear to be ready to make that move. Talk to your family (with every bit of sincerity you have) about independence and growth and tell them that if you do not at least make the attempt, you will have to live with regrets for the rest of your life wondering "what if". If they truly love you, they will respect your choice, let you go with unconditional love and adjust. Notice the key words..."respect", "love" and "adjust". They should not control you by making you stay. what do they gain my you being grown, resentful and unhappy? If they must live vicariously through you, what better way than to see you explore the world and be blissful in it!!! Encourage them to welcome the best, not to worry about the worst. Do YOU know why the caged bird sings?? As for feeling ready, once you see the catalogs, videos, take the tour (if possible) talk to alumni and envision yourself as a well-rounded and worldly young woman, your reservations will be freed! Your family will miss you - as you them - but come time for graduation, that will be the trip of a lifetime!!! I drove 800 miles from NYC to Atlanta starting off at Morris Brown College. Meanwhile, prior to getting there, I had been married, divorced, had a baby and lost that baby all within ONE year!! The Spelman catalog on the top shelf of my closet only collected dust in my misery. Upon my anxious arrival at Mo' Brown, it was so much more than a change of scenery! It was the beginning of the rest of my life. It represented a chance that perhaps a city college would not have given me. I embraced it with pride and joy! It took me all of two weeks, as a non-traditional older student, to get used to the comfortable diversity on this campus! I was not the outside I thought I was going to be! I ultimately transferred to Clark Atlanta University for scholarship monies, but you know what?? I don't know anywhere else where you can enroll in one school and have the choice of taking classes on four other campuses!!! Our ancestors have come milestones and paved the way for us to have choices, priviledges and opportunities to make a difference not only in the world, but within yourselves!! I truly found the essence of ME at my HBCU without the influence of fam, old friends, my hood, etc. I wasn't another number in a seat and when professors taught, it was like we were their peers - never looked down upon. Everyone walked the campus with their heads held high. There was such a strong sense of confidence, I can not describe! And when I went to Morehouse's graduation I cried! To see a sea of black men walk that stage - many with honors - and they were not imprisoned, hustlin' or six feet under!!! Awesome feeling! Then more tears flowed when I walked the stage for my own commencement. All the blood, sweat and tears it took me to get to that point and I MADE IT! Girl, if you REALLY want to go and you don't follow your heart and take this opportunity, a part of your spirit will wither and you will surely regret all or part of your decision to stay for the sake of pleasing the fam. What's the worst that can happen??? If you don't like it after a year, apply for a local college near home and transfer! No biggie! But if I were you, I'd make the FIRST attempt to go away. Cut that cord with love, spread your wings, little butterfly, and soar! Don't let me have to drive you there myself!!!
Love, Peace and Many Blessings to you, my sister!

~Miss T

I mean I went through the same things when I was appling for schools. I to sit down and think what was the bes for ME. In the end it is all your decision. What do you want and what can you handle. I know that my parents wanted me to stay in Md and be close to home. But I knew that the best decision was to go to an environment that is going to be easier for you to learn and get the exerience....

This world evolves around money, money, money and if you have not a talent, no mattter what school you attend, you have nothing to offer therefore nothing to receive.

In life you are intitled to one many mistakes. If you learn from those mistakes is the real test.