poetic justice

here's a poem i just finished

Father I deserve

I'm just a young soldier wit dreams 2 accomplish
But it always been easy 2 be honest
It's the things of my past comin back 2 haunt me
people say i sholdn't let bother me
U see i grew up not knowin my father
at first it seemed like nothin but as i got older i started to wonder
Y did he have 2 leave n cause me so much confusion
Felt like it was my mind dat i was losin
Everytime i think bout it brings me so much pain
Now i'm searchin 4 em hopin it dont go in vain

4 so many years i've been searchin
Askin my mother so many questions
Like wut kinda man was my father
And y did he have to desert me and her
Damn, is the type of father i deserve

Now i'ma grown man but i'm still sufferin from long days n sleepless nights of sheddin tears
Ova the fact i grew not knowin the man that took part in creatin me after so many years
Later on down the line
If the good Lord blesses my wit a wife & child
I promise that i'll never leave em an put them through the tings that i've been through
I refuse 2 have em callin some otha guy daddy
When i'm the 1 that should be makin em happy
They'll let the world know their father ws a great man
That's sumthin mine will never apprehend
I'll raise n be there 4 em like a real father should
Provide 4 em everything i can n give em a life outside the hood
I put em ova everything i have on God's green earth
Thats the type of father they deserve

I feel that i deserve 2 see the face of the man i'm supposed 2 call my father
Despite the fact that he hurt me and my mother
I'm filled wit so many emotions its a shame
But i aint gone let it stop me on my road 2 glory and fame
Dont think we'll have a good relationship if I eva meet u
I'm jus lettin u know i made it through life w/o u
I cant believe I wasted my life lookin 4 someone as sorry as u
What kinda so-called father would run out on his child
Someone like that dont deserve to be called a father