It's My own Fault What happens to my Heart
IF I know certain people will only lead me to a place of heartbreak why do continuly request and allow them to remain in my life... is it because I don't want to be labeled as alone?.... but is'nt it better to be alone than hurt... or rather in bad company(Brooker T Washington)
But that can't be it cause I honestly care for you...
But how can u care for me aleast in the way that I care for and still do the things you do ?...
How can I care for someone whom lies to me ..
whom only plays his part when it's convenant...
whom cheats but and lies about it..
whom forces me to play dectective...
There was a time when if you told me it was raining outside I'd simply grab an umbrella .... Now I am forced to look for myself check the news and yahooo for an accurate forcast...
so How can this be anything resembling a relationship...
oh yes when your not being a kid and you lay next to me hold me and seem so effortlessly to tell me what I want hear... That this time it will be different... that we will work in unison...because we been together for how many months(lol)???? so it just seems right..
But I leave your bed and room and suddenly...
Yes! suddenly I am faced with reality
so what Iam to do ? whenever u don't calll me right back ... or don't answer my call on the first ring I began to assume things..
Maybe if you would just admit everything and stop denying her and what u did .... because the events seem so unwillingly to erase themselves.. but than again why should they... if you won't even try to correct them...
I am not even sure Iam willing to forgive or forget
so why I am I still here?
I feel like a fool
maybe I should
I should forget the whole thing u would'nt change
and love should'nt feel this way
I always thought love was suppose to be a happy feeling
but I feel sad and hurt more than happy
all this time and what do I have to show for it a wounded heart and a wounded ego ..
beauty and class never felt so unappreitiaed
How dare you !!!!!!!!!!!!!
disrespect me
betray me
lie to me
I can't do it but than how can I not.. I be dammned if I see u with another
Ew! that's not me so unlady like if that's what u choose so be it but damm u keep telling that's over and has been but there always seems to be another!waiting on the sidelines so as soon as u get anger or upset with me you don't have to deal with me or even rectafy it ... simply call them and they are there to warm your bed and sing your praises and relieve your mind of any ill thoughts is this how real relationships work don't normal couples discuss their problems???...yet u seem so in tuned to me .. yet that is'nt always.. always is how intuned I am when it comes to u and ur feelings.. knowing right away when u are displeased or troubled! but should'nt love work both ways!! u won't even acknowledge that u have hurt me just keep insisting I hurt u ! but it was u not me whom lied and cheated so who really hurt who.. so why do I even allow u to think that much less articulate it to me
mmmmm... I will let u deicde ew! no U already did and that messed up everthing took us in to winter time breaks summer time breaks and fall time breaks...all to simply reconcile again.. another break I am break no I don't even need it I am at my end..all the while I still remain cheering in the stands ( what a fool) a person from the outside says.. opps that was the queen inside me she is getting lost in all this ...I must deicde this time...
normally I'd choose love but that has gotten us into this soo maybe I should just let my mind deicde ....???? I am still awaiting a deciesion
you will always be my b~ball star and I will always support u in all your endeavors but I need to do me and reevalute what I am doing cuz I have no idea.. Iam losing my queeness ...lowering my standards.. losing my ladylikeness look I am writting this note !!!!!.... I got to gather and clear my thoughts their scattered...I am tired.. and left wondering is worth it ... doubt you will be the man I marry God must have better things in store for this beauitful Queen.. than why is it even a thought?.. mmmmm... so undecided
claiborne
But that can't be it cause I honestly care for you...
But how can u care for me aleast in the way that I care for and still do the things you do ?...
How can I care for someone whom lies to me ..
whom only plays his part when it's convenant...
whom cheats but and lies about it..
whom forces me to play dectective...
There was a time when if you told me it was raining outside I'd simply grab an umbrella .... Now I am forced to look for myself check the news and yahooo for an accurate forcast...
so How can this be anything resembling a relationship...
oh yes when your not being a kid and you lay next to me hold me and seem so effortlessly to tell me what I want hear... That this time it will be different... that we will work in unison...because we been together for how many months(lol)???? so it just seems right..
But I leave your bed and room and suddenly...
Yes! suddenly I am faced with reality
so what Iam to do ? whenever u don't calll me right back ... or don't answer my call on the first ring I began to assume things..
Maybe if you would just admit everything and stop denying her and what u did .... because the events seem so unwillingly to erase themselves.. but than again why should they... if you won't even try to correct them...
I am not even sure Iam willing to forgive or forget
so why I am I still here?
I feel like a fool
maybe I should
I should forget the whole thing u would'nt change
and love should'nt feel this way
I always thought love was suppose to be a happy feeling
but I feel sad and hurt more than happy
all this time and what do I have to show for it a wounded heart and a wounded ego ..
beauty and class never felt so unappreitiaed
How dare you !!!!!!!!!!!!!
disrespect me
betray me
lie to me
I can't do it but than how can I not.. I be dammned if I see u with another
Ew! that's not me so unlady like if that's what u choose so be it but damm u keep telling that's over and has been but there always seems to be another!waiting on the sidelines so as soon as u get anger or upset with me you don't have to deal with me or even rectafy it ... simply call them and they are there to warm your bed and sing your praises and relieve your mind of any ill thoughts is this how real relationships work don't normal couples discuss their problems???...yet u seem so in tuned to me .. yet that is'nt always.. always is how intuned I am when it comes to u and ur feelings.. knowing right away when u are displeased or troubled! but should'nt love work both ways!! u won't even acknowledge that u have hurt me just keep insisting I hurt u ! but it was u not me whom lied and cheated so who really hurt who.. so why do I even allow u to think that much less articulate it to me
mmmmm... I will let u deicde ew! no U already did and that messed up everthing took us in to winter time breaks summer time breaks and fall time breaks...all to simply reconcile again.. another break I am break no I don't even need it I am at my end..all the while I still remain cheering in the stands ( what a fool) a person from the outside says.. opps that was the queen inside me she is getting lost in all this ...I must deicde this time...
normally I'd choose love but that has gotten us into this soo maybe I should just let my mind deicde ....???? I am still awaiting a deciesion
you will always be my b~ball star and I will always support u in all your endeavors but I need to do me and reevalute what I am doing cuz I have no idea.. Iam losing my queeness ...lowering my standards.. losing my ladylikeness look I am writting this note !!!!!.... I got to gather and clear my thoughts their scattered...I am tired.. and left wondering is worth it ... doubt you will be the man I marry God must have better things in store for this beauitful Queen.. than why is it even a thought?.. mmmmm... so undecided
claiborne
