Broke
It's official. Andre and I are over. What other conclusion am I to come to when today is April 28th and I haven't spoken to him since April 15th. When I see him checking his mail and he doesn't reply to my emails. When I know out of probably nothing more than pure habit he checks the caller id when he walks in his house, must see my number, and does not call back. When he has not even made an attempt to contact me even though it's about a month till prom, and our 2 year anniversary has come and gone.
I think I'm handling it pretty well. Days are easy, nights are hell. Laying in bed, staring into space thinking about the times when he lay next to me in that exact spot looking at me across the darkness telling me how much he loves(d) me. Telling me how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Looking me in my eyes as we made love for the first time. Makes me want to burn that damn bed.
Not knowing is what's killing me. That added on to the sheer fact of all thats happening makes me want to punch something, scream, cry, just break down. But I can't. As women, we're taught by our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts early in life that we have to be strong, and keep going. I've got too much to do and too many people depending on me to lose it.
But damn does it hurt like hell. Some of my friends try to consol me but do a piss poor job at doing it. They expect me to just move on and forget about him. Move on, okay yeah I've started that process. But you can't expect me to just erase him from my memory. To just be like oh yeah, eff him. They keep trying to fix it, when all I really want right now is to just let it be broke for a while.
I think I'm handling it pretty well. Days are easy, nights are hell. Laying in bed, staring into space thinking about the times when he lay next to me in that exact spot looking at me across the darkness telling me how much he loves(d) me. Telling me how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Looking me in my eyes as we made love for the first time. Makes me want to burn that damn bed.
Not knowing is what's killing me. That added on to the sheer fact of all thats happening makes me want to punch something, scream, cry, just break down. But I can't. As women, we're taught by our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts early in life that we have to be strong, and keep going. I've got too much to do and too many people depending on me to lose it.
But damn does it hurt like hell. Some of my friends try to consol me but do a piss poor job at doing it. They expect me to just move on and forget about him. Move on, okay yeah I've started that process. But you can't expect me to just erase him from my memory. To just be like oh yeah, eff him. They keep trying to fix it, when all I really want right now is to just let it be broke for a while.
Keep your head up, stay strong, men can be difficult at times, and remember they come a dime a dozen also, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.