Cloudy Days

I'm thinkin about entering this poem in a contest. Ya'll tell me what u think. Be completely honest. I can take criticism.

"Cloudy Days"
If only secret lives could be altered
then ectasy would run through the veins
of the weary and rundown.
Subconscious smiles would be uncovered
and insurmountable obstacles would disappear.
Tears would fall in reverse
and the sound of crying would be rewound.
Heartbeats would be slowed
to the calmer rhythms of raindrops falling on glass.
Deep breaths would be taken
as ideas passed from
mind to body
and actions followed suit.
If only secret lives could be altered
then a connection could be made.