Those dreaming eyes of mine
D'Angelo said it best with his smooth voice crooning in "oh oh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." It's that sound i hear everytime I meet a woman . I start to picture the two of us walking around an art exhibit discussing it's finer points, or strolling through a hedge maze. I create instant memories of relationships that never existed in the bllink of an eye. So let's examine my problem . Today would be the four year anniversary of the very first relationship I was in. "I met this girl when I was ten year old(ok 15) and what I liked about her was the smile in her soul." I digress, when I was fifteen I met a girl at camp we ended up dating for a while and broke up when I was seventeen. When we started dating I was about 5"5 180. When we broke up I was 5"8 160. I was reeling from the pain of my first heart break and I got rid of the pain by diving in to the world of women. Today I'm 20 5"11 180. I'm a good looking confident brother and I would say I do ok with women, but I can't shake this thing. I still feel like that relationship should continue. as my words become less eloquent my confussion will spill out onto this screen. I'll be plain. I want to be with this woman. I meet women all the time. Good looking women, beatiful women, women that would make you do some things you said you would never do women. No matter what they don't compare to this relationship in my mind. I don't know if I am holding onto the thought of an imperfect relationship that I enjoyed but I gotta get this out of my mind. That's all for now. .. in this instance- I have to do better
Its okay to hold on. I mean its human. Its called first love. You never find someone who lives up to your first love and after awhile of dreaming you had that love back you compare your first love to everyone. You find yourself being distance from the other people your trying to talk to. After awhile your going to have to let go though. If the event of the love you once had doesn't present itself again it wasn't meant to be. Once you let go and start to really live you'll find that real special person that will make you feel like you were young again and it was once again your first time being in love. Just as it felt when you were young it will feel like that again. Only when your ready to let go. Things happen for a reason so this might be for the best. Let go and find love again. Love comes in many different shapes and sizes and if not in the first circle then in the next square. Anyway i loved the way you wrote the way you felt it was well wrote and deep.
Im out
Shonda