
In the early stages of my Bipolar diagnosis, I was definitely hiding in my personal black box. I was also caught up in a shuffle with frequently-changing doctors. That was due to residents doing their six months here/there and then gone. I was frustrated at the same routine of going to the doctor's office and getting refills and making appointments for another 30 days. I never really "connected" with any of them and probably because I expected they would probably be gone the next time I was scheduled to visit. So, I kept a lot of things to myself such as the visions I received from God.
Right around the six-year mark, I was blessed to have one regular therapist and doctor. I'm thinking about the day I sat in therapy asking all these questions about the bible. You see, I kept having these visions that I did not understand. The re-ocurring visions came rapidly during my sleep and once in a while, while I was wide awake. They made me more ashamed because these visions would have me mesmerized for a lengthy time in some cases and then I would cry from the joy in my heart. To folks observing me, I was staring and then crying. I never spoke about what was going on in my head because I did not know how to articulate it and folks already knew I was "crazy."
So, here I am in therapy telling more visions to my therapist and he asked me if I ever considered faith-based counseling? That was definitely foreign to me, so I answered "No," and vowed to consider it. I guess since I always referred to myself as "crazy" during those days and was doing so at this particular session, he then told me this:
"You know if Noah lived during this day and time, he would probably be considered 'Bipolar' and David the Psalmist would be said to be having 'hypomania' episodes."
I responded by saying "What?!"
Then he explained his statement and ended by saying, "Now, how else can you explain a man claiming to be following God's command to build an ark in the dry desert and David singing to the sky?"
We both laughed and I understood where he was going with that. I started paying more attention to the ACTs and David, particularly in the bible. I sought faith-based counseling. My life began to take on a new meaning. King David became my favorite because of his psalms and me learning how he loved to dance and sing and give praise to God!
Today I wish everybody with Bipolar would develop a personal relationship with God. Do you think that a personal relationship with God would make any difference if you or a family member have a mental illness?
I wonder what the folks at the American Association of Pastoral Counselors (www.aapc.org) would say?
Agnes ~ Too Wise Not To Praise Him!
Author of "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bipolar Woman" ISBN 0975461206 Winter Release Pending -
www.myspace.com/coolingwellwater
Posted By: agnes levine
Monday, August 25th 2008 at 3:22AM
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