I've learned

I`ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I`ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assho!es.

I`ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I`ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you`d better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I`ve learned that you shouldn`t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I`ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you`re finished.

I`ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I`ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take it's place!

I`ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn`t working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I`ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.