A Soulful Relationship
I received this from a friend and thought this we be good to share, things we should all keep in mind.
A Soulful Relationship
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married,
share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An
African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye. "Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can
change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their Flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing
bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two
unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you
bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with
each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? (like telling a
person when and who they can look at, even if they find someone else
beautiful - pathetic - no names) What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make
someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making
someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your
pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are
not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
relationship.
Seeking status, s*x, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in
a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway
time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared
activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on
their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and
interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other,
giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure.
Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together.
Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't
try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect
his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for
material goods. (as I know someone who requested a gift from her
husband, he bought something else, and she complained that it was not
exactly the bracelet she wanted - ridiculous) Remember for richer or for
poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the
passion.
" Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any
higher than you think." The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the
word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8 Shall we make a new rule of life
from tonight. Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The
difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I. Life
is
not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that
take our breath away.
ANYONE WHO PRESCRIBES THE DIAMETER OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE...
CONTROLS THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF YOUR ACTIVITY.
Be Blessed
Reverend Ronald McFadden
A Soulful Relationship
If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married,
share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An
African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye. "Before you get involved and make a
commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can
change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their Flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing
bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations,
emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two
unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you
bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with
each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? (like telling a
person when and who they can look at, even if they find someone else
beautiful - pathetic - no names) What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make
someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem,
spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making
someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your
pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are
not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
relationship.
Seeking status, s*x, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in
a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong? Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway
time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared
activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on
their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and
interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other,
giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure.
Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together.
Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't
try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect
his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for
material goods. (as I know someone who requested a gift from her
husband, he bought something else, and she complained that it was not
exactly the bracelet she wanted - ridiculous) Remember for richer or for
poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as
resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the
passion.
" Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any
higher than you think." The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the
word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8 Shall we make a new rule of life
from tonight. Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The
difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I. Life
is
not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that
take our breath away.
ANYONE WHO PRESCRIBES THE DIAMETER OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE...
CONTROLS THE CIRCUMFERENCE OF YOUR ACTIVITY.
Be Blessed
Reverend Ronald McFadden
On point