Style 101: Ask Michelle
[Fashion and Image Consultant: Michelle Washington]
Style-ology LLC
www.styleology.net “Elbows off the Table!”
(Part 2)
Table Manners
Now that you know how to “identify your tools of the table” from article Part 1, It is time to tackle the subject of table manners? By this time, all of the things your mother scolded you about should start to make since such as “sit up straight,” “stop fidgeting,” and the all time favorite “keep your elbows off the table!” As much as you may hate to admit it…YES…Mother was right, so now is the time to make Mom proud and prove to her, your date, and your business companions that you have learned a “thing or two” about table manners.
Posture
("Elbows, elbows, if you're able -- keep your elbows off the table!") Proper posture at the table is very important. Sit up straight, with your arms held near your body. You should neither lean on the back of the chair nor bend forward to place the elbows on the table. It is permissible to lean forward slightly every now and then and press the elbows very lightly against the edge of the table, if it is obvious that you are not using them for support. (CN, 2006)
Removing Inedible Items from the Mouth
The general rule for removing food from your mouth is that it should go out the same way it went in. Therefore, olive pits can be delicately dropped onto an open palm before putting them onto your plate, and a piece of bone discovered in a bite of chicken should be returned to the plate by way of the fork. Fish is an exception to the rule. It is fine to remove the tiny bones with your fingers, since they would be difficult to drop from your mouth onto the fork. And, of course, if what you have to spit out will be terrifically ugly -- an extremely fatty piece of meat that you simply can't bring yourself to swallow, for example -- it will be necessary to surreptitiously spit it into your napkin, so that you can keep it out of sight. (CN, 2006)
Eating Soup
Dip the spoon into the soup, moving it away from the body, until it is about two-thirds full, then sip the liquid (without slurping) from the side of the spoon (without inserting the whole bowl of the spoon into the mouth). The theory behind this is that a diner who scoops the spoon toward himself is more likely to slosh soup onto his lap, although it is difficult to imagine what sort of eater would stroke the spoon so forcefully through the liquid that he or she creates waves. It is perfectly fine to tilt the bowl slightly -- again away from the body -- to get the last spoonful or two of soup. (CN, 2006)
Offering Food
Take note, when you are the host of a party, of the way you offer additional servings to your guests. Urging someone to "have another (or a second or third) helping" can be seen as an unpleasant insinuation that the guest has eaten too much. It is best to phrase each offer of food as if the dish has just been brought out for the first time. (CN, 2006)
The Napkin
As soon as you are seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, unfold it, and put it in your lap. When you leave the table at the end of the meal, place your napkin loosely next to your plate. It should not be crumpled or twisted, which would reveal untidiness or nervousness, respectively; nor should it be folded, the napkin must also not be left on the chair. Only after the meal is over should you place your napkin on the table to the left side of your plate (NEVER on your plate!). If your napkin falls on the floor and it is within easy reach, retrieve it. If you are unable to retrieve the napkin without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one (CN, 2006)
"Please Pass the Salt"
The proper response to this very simple sounding request is to pick up both the salt and the pepper and to place them on the table within reach of the person next to you, who will do the same, and so on, until they reach the person who asked for them. They are not passed hand-to-hand, nor should anyone other than the original requester sprinkle her food when she has the shakers in her possession. The reason for this, as Judith Martin points out more than once, is that American etiquette is not about efficiency. Often, the most refined action is that which requires the greatest number of steps to carry it out (as in, for example, the zigzag method of handling a fork and knife). (CN, 2006)
Placement in General
The positioning of knife and fork when not in use acts as a sort of semaphore, allowing the diner to indicate the degree to which he intends to pause in eating. Flatware should always be placed on the plate during pauses between bites. If this is to be a very short time, there is no set pattern. For longer waits, perhaps caused by a diverting twist in the table conversation, the diner places the fork on the left and knife on the right, so that they cross over the center of the plate. The diner preparing to pass his plate for a second helping places the fork and knife parallel to each other at the right side of the plate, so that there is room for the food. When the diner has finished, he signals this by setting the fork and knife parallel to each other, so they lie either horizontally across the center of the plate or are on the diagonal, with the handles pointing to the right. The cutting edge of the knife blade should face toward the diner (again, avoiding all possible aggressive implications), and the fork may be placed with the tines either up or down. (CN, 2006)
Once-Used Placement
There are numerous rules and prohibitions regarding the proper placement of eating utensils once they have been used. Essentially, used flatware must never be allowed to touch the surface of the table, where it might dirty the cloth. It is not proper to allow even the clean handle of a knife or fork to rest on the cloth while the other end lies on the plate. At the end of a course, a utensil must not be left in any dish that is not flat -- the soup bowl, for example, or a shrimp cocktail dish, a teacup or a parfait glass. All these items are usually presented with a plate underneath the bowl or cup, on which the utensil must be placed after use. (CN, 2006)
A quick review…you have learned how to “identify your tools of the table” from article Part 1 and now you have refreshed your table manners (article Part 2). By now, you should be feeling a bit confident in your dining skills. Are you feeling ready for your formal dining experience yet? Not quite…stay tuned for article Part 3.
Reference:
Cyber Palate LLC (2006). American Table Manners. Retrieved from the Cyber Palate LLC
website July 1, 2006:
http://www.cuisinenet.com What is Style-ology?
Michelle Washington is the creative mind behind Style-ology LLC (www.styleology.net). This fashion industry professional (turned Fashion and Image Consultant) has distinct skills and knowledge. As a registered and active member of AICI (Association of Image Consultants International), Michelle's forte is in creating a "true style" for clients; which means "being clever" and seeking out unusual shops. Michelle collaborates with top businesses and professionals to facilitate a full transformation for each client from beginning to end. Whether it is a total image makeover, personal shopping, fashion styling, or company speaking engagements; her personal one-on-one comprehensive service is what sets Style-ology LLC above all others.
Posted By: Jehan Bunch
Tuesday, July 11th 2006 at 9:15AM
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