I thought to write a poem that I started last week. I was intending to finish it last night, had all my normal routine set to put me in the mood, the walk, my dog King laying on my feet, a long shower with music blasting, etc.
I wrote this much titled:
"U R MY VALENTINE STAR"
My glittering bright beautiful star, I thank our "God" 4 what U R, So high above the highest diamond price, someone like You is worth my life.
Oceanside drive on a lengthy beach, romantic music playing, sunset patio candle lit dinner, holding hands playing, moonlit slow dance in the warm salt speckling waters.
*Then I jumped to try another line: Staring at You sleep in my strong warm secure arms the night before, I got up in the early morning hours, I praise "God" 4 giving me You I did not deserve, I have exceeding abundantly so much more. I cooked a glamorous bedside breakfast....
You know from the laying out of that special outfit for her to the frozen grapes, altoids and a feather for later, Lol! Nothing wrong with that, the Book of the Song of Solomon goes much deeper than that, just shallow with religiosity people...
*The creative muse is just not there to put my thoughts together in sync to finish this, apologies, I meant well.
I wanted to put together a piece of sentimental priceless limitless poetry to encompass what a great man would do for his woman from the night before, throughout the whole day and into the night and beyond. This of course would be a small aspect of what is daily for me and not the seasonal trend that most people feel and as soon as the Holidays are over, back to normal. For me people can keep that one or two day a year act of kindness.
I go the whole year long myself. Just keeping it real, no offense meant to anyone, just my thoughts.
Other thoughts that enter my mind are men that play on women, women that play on men, people that don't learn from life experiences etc.
I get up, I walk outside and think to myself, "Lord" should I continue to say or type in my thoughts?". I keep getting a resounding Yes, be You and who You are, people that Love You will and those who don't, that is a Blessing..
I took today off for Valentines Day, maybe that will be a trend for me and my future family.
I wished the Librarians Happy Valentines Day here at the Library, I am a regular here for reading, study etc.
I always joke with Mrs. Williams. One of the most beautiful 77 year young ladies I have ever seen in my life, the type that would go perfectly in one of those women's magazines showing how Young some women look.
I always joke with Mrs. Williams, "Are You 21 and old enough for me?:-)" You should see her blush as she responds, "Chile I have grandchildren Your age, Lol!"
When I first told her that, she blushed, smiled etc. A white woman sitting beside me, maybe 55 or so has on all red and is to herself, and I say "Happy Valentines Day" and her whole countenance changes.
I took today off to go over to Mrs. Anne's(Age 60) house to hang those Venetian Blinds her husband(We are cool) won't do for her. I plan to go over to see Mrs. Moore who has been in the hospital and is coming home today, I plan to go see Sista Lynda who lives by herself, is kind, sweet and always sends me a plate, 55 and to herself. I happen to live on a block where there is quite a few older spiritual ladies who look out for me and I do the same for them. Sunday nights are busy for me because I get their garbage out for them after Church.
Oh Mrs. Fowler needs someone to rake those leaves for her, a 70 year old lady that is to herself and the kids are grown, moved away and are married.
This is Valentines day for me, not just today sentimentally, but everyday.
I remember brother Ike asked me about chivalry as I blogged on that recently, I answer back, no it is not dead, but for many it is overlooked for the great materialism that rules the earth. For me it is the little things that add up to the great big things. Women are emotional vampires, clarifying should and need to be constantly emotionally fed and there are all kinds of ways to do that. My cousin Rod (My Minister back home in Florida) discussed that some years ago. There are many that look at the big things, overlook the significant small things like that flower that budded all of a sudden along the pathway that she walked rushing to be in place for that man that does not love her but uses her. Anyway...
I think about all those married men I know back home at the Church and the ones I see throughout the week in all kinds of settings.
Men that have beautiful wives and are leaving them for girls that are younger than their children because they have finances in their pockets but were broke busted and could not be trusted when they met the wife of their life.
Breautiful wives, I mean stunning into their 50's, 60's and 70's. I talk periodically with Rod and each time I call home, I am informed that such and such marriage is not going well and that the brother is leaving his wife. The men doing that do not have excuses so they make up things, I have done that before. Many men go through this and then they want to come back and if the woman says no, she is demonized by people.
Brothers that would envy myself for being single and out there, you know give you that lecture in Church and imply about it when they speak, but I had the honor not to bust them out about what I know...
Like an Uncle of mine. I was dating Sonjya a girl from canada via one of those funny sounding islands. I am at her apartment. Her roomate lets just say is preoccupied. Later I here the name Mr. Such and such. I did not know it was him there, his name came up by her mention. I stated, "Oh You know him?" "He is my Uncle".
Oh that is the guy that was here last night, in my mind I think the Uncle that tells me I need to slow down? The one married for 40 years and wonders why his sons and daughters my cousins can't stand him and has gone astray while he talks about them like a dog. His wife Mrs. Cat, a statuesque tall red bone, Indian features and hair, age has not stopped her, dedicated always doing her wifely duties...
Anyway...
Or the brothers I see that are always out hanging with bachelors and the brothers I have met that are always on the computer, night, morning, midnight and day. I wonder to myself if he is married and works a job, he can't be in two places at one time. Brothers that never talk about their wives, but discuss everything else. Brothers that watch You and ignore their wives. I was at a Church where the male Minister Bishop does not allow men to shake the hands of women or sit by them unless married. I had no problem with that. But he was busted in a hotle room with a sister from the Church, has left to go back and forth to Chicago, while his Pastor wife stays home and asks the sisters to pray for her husband. He has since took himself down as Bishop, his wife passed by me yesterday coincidentally and gave me a copy of her new magazine she wants me to write for. Those fake types of men that pay attention to what I call the tight waists and pretty faces because they are so cool, but all a sistah has to do is take off her clothes and see how moral that brother is. What gets me is simple-minded sistahs that fall for that oldest of tricks in the book that is shown through Judah in the book of Genesis. All those types I bet You they are looking for a daddy that is disconnected from them... Those married men exude what the epitomy of what a good man should be based on the nonfactor of what their fathers were to them. I have heard so many times beautiful smart book intelligent sistahs and street girls brag about the good man they have that is married but is going to leave their wives one day, let me give you a hint, when I did play around there was a motto I started, Always distinguish between your B's and Your girls, # 1 lady. There is no inbetween. I know a lot of men that will hate me for revealing that secret. The men that mess up, as I would tell them are the ones that get caught up in emotions. Players play. I retired from all that, with the same fellas and females questioning what I am about ironically...
I get a lot of emails from sistahs that ask me those type questions and I am answering back from life experiences and not fancy eloquent words, quotes etc. Just what I know in my head.
Just know that because I love my dog King and He is a part of my life, I talk about Him and people know about Him from how I carry and exude myself.
I have had sistahs question me asking me if this and that person really respects them as a true friend. Well I answer them straight up, tell him something suggestive and sweet and see if he does not start making up excuses about his wife, you know, this is wrong and that. Soo many fall for that one.
Yall know its the truth, what is the common saying that Your Mamma or that elderly lady taught You from childhood? Never trust Your man around another woman alone. But men are dogs and where are the good men at? Ironic.
I am only saying what many feel and know but because they do not want to lose cool points they stay quiet and periodically imply about it. Every now and then a brotha will vent about it online and after he receives silence by many, he reverts back to being cool and apart of everyone again :-)
I do not care, yes people want to be liked by everyone and that won't happen until Heaven is reached.
I was built to think this way, based on my own lack of father and dysfunctionaly family life lessons. I say thank You it makes me a better man. Yes I fell and joined what I call the darkside, playing around(I have thought to blog a series on that similar to what happened with Darth Vader in Star Wars; I see many lessons in movies), but I have been Blessed for the better for it.
I was at a chat room at this one site one time and the sistahs were really going off about men are dogs. I hate that. I jumped in with a question. I asked the sistahs, "How many of Ya'll took less than two weeks to give it up?". None answered, I could here crichkets chirping... I asked them, Now how many times have You done this over and over again?". No one answered. I told them this is common with many women, as common as the 3 month rule that Joan uses on the sitcom "Girlfriends", who is spreading that message, men or women?...
I also told that chatroom my theory that I now use often that there are "More women that play then men". They outnumber us and there could be no dogs unless doggettes to get with and usually more than one. I told them keep Your pants up and you won't get dogged out so much. Most men respect that believe it or not. Something is lost between both parties involved when you sleep before you marry.
I did not bust them out about it but quite a few of them had sent me private emails and a few would talk about this and that man and how great he was, ironic.
I did close in that chatroom by stating that many who cry the loudest about hurt tend to display the greatest player symptoms, I believe this grows from a root of not doing enough about it. Not all, but some...
I would notice that those profiles never participated in any spiritual based groups, they answer no one else but themselves, etc...
Worldly.
When my ex got me that last time, I faulted myself, I am talking spiritual but trying to do it along with her every chance I could get. Hey my past.
By the way, I have said my words will sound brilliant one day, but not now without the fancy titles that I always reject...
Most women do not want men to be honest, this world rather a lie thus many women get dogged along with men. What do I mean? Well I tell the truth about my past and get the comment often, "I id not know that about You?". I have it in my Profile. But the men that lie that seem greater than art thou, take them to the cleaners. Hey just look at that Flava Flav show.
A 46 year old man, uses or used crack, drinks, has all those 20 somethings on his show, he could join this website and sign all the guest books he wants to and receive the highest honors with no questions asked. Anyway...
I forgot he is 5'2 maybe weighs a 125 pounds etc. That show is the world with some outside that box. Those beauty queens on there call him smart, spiritual and s*xy. Coincidentally when I came real about my ex, I stated the dude she cheated with, the one where I met her crying because he was caught in mid stroke with another girl, the one that I stated I would never stray, the one that stated I was the best thing that ever happened to her, the one that went back and moved him up to where she was at when she became an Officer in the military, the one that used her car that I had fixed and put gas in, the one that made babies on her, the one that wanted me back as implied through her mother that emailed me and I came up with another motto, "What God Gave Back To The Devil, I Ain't Tryn To Go Back And Get.". I can go on all day about soemthing that was my fault and I did see all along but was blinded by all those good words, works, etc.
I say often I have only fallen a few times in my life, but the times I did, I fell hard. I would always get back out there, but I refused to this time. Why? I know I won't come back...
I have seen too many female underwear from the bloomers of yesteryear to the G-Strings of today, I don't/won't chase anyone, never had to and won't compete for anyone. I have been asked to compete by a female that had a fiancee that was the Department head of Satilla Mental Health where I worked. I wished her well. God made us all beautifully and Wonderfully made, come catch me, I have something to give to...
God also states in the scriptures that the passions and convictions we have are by God and never by us. I am a sentimental passionate hopeless romantic man, ain't nothing wrong about that. Nothing weak either, men like that as a domino affect can transfer that same passion into cans of whip tail on hold for emergencies. I state again, I was built to think the way I do, only the world tries to alter that.
What makes me good and effective as a counselor with women of broken hearts is when I tell them through those teary eyes that they are looking at a man that has reaped and all reap what one sows.
But still the world will view a man like me as if someone bumped their head. I am what I am.
On this I need to be finishing up on here and go out and see some people. As usual I can write much more on this subject, count this as answering some emails back.
I wish You a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY AND LUV.
IF I HAD A VALENTINE SWEETHEART OR WIFE, TRUST ME I WOULD NOT BE ON THE INTERNET TODAY, I WOULD BE OUT JOYFULLY WITH HER AND BLOG ABOUT IT IN GENERAL AS A LIFE LESSON LATER.
Just my 2cents worth
Sincerely
William
:-)
P.S. The same passion tells me of Destiny/Greatness. Only the world believes that not. The world jumps on and off bandwagons. I see them often.
And I will be on that Bill O'Reilly show eventually, me and him have some things for me to out debate him on in reference to we as a black people... :-)
Confidence, Hebrews 10:35
Posted By: WILLIAM W. HEMMANS III
Tuesday, February 14th 2006 at 2:22PM
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