Color-Struck Blacks Are at It Again – The Lighter the Woman, the Finer
Date: Wednesday, January 18, 2006
By: Gregory Kane
Color-struck knee-grows are so predictable.
So, there I was in front of my TV, channel surfing as usual. I came across a show on BET called “All Shades of Fine: 25 Hottest Females of the Past 25 Years.” Being an unapologetically heteros*xual male who loves looking at good-looking women, I stopped surfing and popped in a videotape.
But how did I know, even as Lauryn Hill was being touted as number 25 on the list, that whoever did the selecting would have Halle Berry and Beyonce Knowles as, respectively, numbers one and two?
Because, as I’ve said, color-struck knee-grows are predictable.
I knew, with a name like “All Shades of Fine,” that the show would celebrate black women of various complexions. I also knew that black folks, even at the dawn of the 21st century, are still somewhat color-struck. So, I wasn’t surprised to find the lighter shade of sisters at the top of the list and the darker ones at the bottom.
In general, the rule was the higher the ranking, the lighter the skin. The only dark-skinned sister to break the top 10 was Gabrielle Union, who came in at number eight. For my money she should have been number one. And number two should have gone to Aunjanue Ellis, who didn’t even make the list.
Maybe that’s why I’m in such a snit. It’s one thing to be color-struck. It’s another to be color-struck and diss the one actress I have a passion for. And that would be Ms. Ellis, who was the only reason to even watch the films "Undercover Brother" and "Men of Honor." My Aunjanue can be seen most Wednesdays at 8 p.m. playing Marine MSgt. Jocelyn Pierce on the NBC show "E-Ring," and she’s the only reason to watch that too.
But not only did my Aunjanue get dissed; she didn’t even make a list that Mary J. Blige made.
Mary J. Blige on a “25 Hottest Females” list? OK, I’m trying to be nice here. I’m trying to keep my cool. But Mary J. doesn’t belong on anybody’s “25 Hottest Females” list. When I hear men talk about women who drive them wild with desire, Mary J.’s name just doesn’t come up.
And how she achieved superstardom is beyond me. I can understand how ugly folks who can sing become superstars. I can even understand how good-looking folks who can’t sing become superstars. But ugly folks who can’t sing becoming superstars? Come on, now!
Now before you Mary J. fans go off on me for calling the sister ugly, I’ll mitigate my comment somewhat. She’s not completely bad-looking. It’s not as if she got beat with the bad end of the ugly stick, or that she was even beaten with the ugly stick at all.
But it sure as heck grazed her.
Ah, I digress.
If I seem to be in a testy mood, that’s what happens when you diss my Aunjanue. That’s what happens when folks come up with a list of the “25 hottest black women” and put most of the darker-skinned sisters at the bottom. It’s what happens, not only when you do a TV show about it, but let folks who aren’t black give their comments.
So, it was that Miss Info, an Asian, came to say this about Alicia Keys, who came in at number nine on BET’s “25 Hottest Females List” -- “She has genetically superior features.”
Don’t you get nervous when folks who aren’t black talk about light-skinned black folks that way? Don’t you wonder why black folks are still the only racial group in America who not only tolerate outsiders having a say in our intraracial discussions, but actually invite them in?
Miss Info didn’t talk about the “genetically superior features” of Gabrielle Union or Lauryn Hill or Vivica A. Fox, who made the list but came in significantly below Keys, Halle and Beyonce.
And that’s the other thing that put a bee in my bonnet. Vivica should have been no lower than number three. She not only looks as good as Halle, but she acted rings around Halle in the movie "Why Do Fools Fall In Love." I know it’s cliche to say that Vivica stole the show from Halle, but that’s exactly what happened. Vivica should be doing time for grand larceny.
And I may be doing some time myself. For pimp-slapping the folks at BET who dissed my Aunjanue.
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Monday, January 23rd 2006 at 2:36PM
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