It's OK sometimes to splurge on yourself or family
By MICHELLE SINGLETARY
SYNDICATED COLUMNIST
I did it. I agreed to the purchase of a new car.
I'm still shaking a bit. I hate spending any money, especially on a car. But my husband needed one because we decided to give his 1996 Toyota Camry to my niece, who is attending Spelman College in Atlanta. We are so proud of how well she's doing, and so we surprised her with the car for Christmas.
To replace the Camry, we had every intention of buying a late-model used car with a good reliability record and good gas mileage.
We narrowed our choices to another Camry or Honda Accord.
Just for fun, we decided to test drive a smoky gray 2006 Honda Accord with black leather interior and an awesome navigational system. What a sweet and sporty car. I think the new-car smell started to cloud my judgment because I began to actually consider buying it.
But my frugal side kept nagging, "Girl, get a used car. Save money."
Then I thought about a sermon I had recently heard. Pastor Steve Jamison of Eastridge Christian Assembly in Issaquah was guest-preaching at my church, and he talked about the importance of showing your loved ones you care. Sometimes, Jamison said, that means buying them something they want.
Jamison recounted how his wife has never asked for much. But several months before their 25th wedding anniversary, she strongly hinted she wanted to upgrade her wedding ring.
Jamison admitted he really wasn't a great gift-giver. He and his wife are practical folks who save fervently, so lavish gifts to them weren't all that important.
Not this time, however.
"I couldn't wait until the day I could give her that ring," Jamison said during his sermon. "I wanted to give her something nice because she has been so good to me."
I've always clung to the belief that you don't need to give anybody anything to prove your love. "You can't buy love" is one of my personal mantras. However, Jamison reminded me that giving can be good for the soul.
Here's another thing I learned from his message. Sometimes you have got to let go of your money. If you've made wise decisions and you're financially secure, spend a little. Splurge on yourself or a loved one. Don't wait until you're darn near death to enjoy some of what you've worked so hard to earn.
Oh, and I should mention that while we were shopping for my husband's car, we also decided to replace our hoopty (i.e., old and beat up) van. We ended up buying both vehicles from the same dealership, an experience that was surprisingly pleasant. We had a great salesman. We had done all our homework so we got a good deal.
I'm telling you all this because I often hear from readers who just can't get their spouses or relatives to splurge even though they've managed their money well.
Or I hear from readers who are nervous about spending money they've saved.
For example, I received this question during an online chat: "I am going to buy my first car in 25 years, since my 1981 Camaro is ready to be put out to pasture. The car I want is about $50,000. I have the cash but could finance it through the bank or the dealer or could get a home equity loan. Which option is best? If I pay cash, I will pay my savings back monthly at the same rate at which I would pay off a loan."
The old Michelle would have flinched at someone buying a $50,000 car. Who needs a $50,000 car?
Well, nobody needs a $50,000 car but if you can afford it -- and that's what you want -- get it. I doubt seriously this reader would even consider paying cash for a car if he or she had credit card debt or nothing saved for retirement. So my advice, buy the car. Pay cash for it.
I have an elderly aunt who saved and scrimped on stuff all her life. Now at 83, she has a large nest egg, enough to last her until she's 103. Yet she still won't buy herself or anybody else much of anything, not even during the holidays.
My aunt has been stuck in the saving mode for so long she can't spend. She can't be generous. Some might call her a miser. I think she's just scared.
I don't want to be like her. My husband and I are good stewards of our money. I shouldn't be afraid to spend on a want.
We ended up buying a new van because we wanted certain features we couldn't find in a used one. Having bought one new vehicle, the sensible thing would have been to buy a used car for my husband.
But as we looked at used cars for him, I decided I wanted my husband to have what he wanted. He's a good man who has been good to me.
And you know what?
The look of love (and shock) on my husband's face when I said "let's get you a new car, too" was priceless.
Michelle Singletary welcomes comments and column ideas, though she cannot offer specific personal financial advice. Her e-mail address is singletarym@washpost.com. Readers can write to her c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20071.
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Sunday, January 22nd 2006 at 6:32PM
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