Church Announcements:
1. The members of the church are asked to keep Bro. Allen in your prayers. After singing "Trouble Don't Last Always", he was arrested for
shoplifting. He's now serving the rest of his previous 5 year sentence.
I guess his troubles are going to last for 5 years.
2. Anyway........................
Sister Hattie will be selling mud cakes and mud pies after service today. She wants to apologize to the people who got sick from her cakes and pies last month. She says that she had no idea that real mud was not supposed to be used in making the cakes or pies. The Health Ministry will be giving away Pepto-Bismol for all members who purchase cakes or pies today.
3. Due to the recent slew of bounced checks, a list of names of those people who cannot write checks to the church is inside your program.
4. Because of the increase in men joining the church because of last week's announcement, the pastor wanted me to make sure that everyone
understood the announcement. The Men's Ministry will be sponsoring a Sweatshirt Contest, not a Wet Shirt Contest. We want you to know that
your $200 deposit is non-refundable.
5. The Pastor wanted the Praise Dancers to know that he has turned down your request to add the Electric Slide, the Cabbage Patch, and the Rump Shaker to your routines during Praise and Worship Service. A side note to the men in the congregation. Please do not throw money or
phone numbers at the feet of the Praise Dancers.
6. The Music and Arts Department are bringing back their popular play:
"Grandma Got Ash Off My Face With Spit During Sunday School." Tickets are going fast.
7. After today's service, we will be selling dinner for those of you who will be staying for the evening service. On the menu is Chicken, Rice, String Beans and Watered Down Punch. The cost is $22.50 per person.
8. New members are to give their checking and savings account numbers to the Mission sisters upon registration. Sis Ida Mae, who was cleared
of all charges of embezzlement, will be taking this information.
9. The Pastor is asking that everyone who just HAS TO LAUGH when Ms. Hattie is singing, could you please throw at least one amen in there
cause ya'll hurting her feelings.
10. The Youth Choir will be putting on their annual play. This year they will be performing, "My Momma Didn't Steal Yo' Check." We are asking in advance that Lil' Maria not sing the lead. Face it Big Maria, ya' child can't sing. Now let's consider this matter closed and not brought up again, especially in the presence of the children.
11. Anyone looking to join the "Wessss~Siiide Afro Mass Choir" must attend the meeting in the back of the fellowship hall. Bring 2 pictures before and after Fro to put in the new members bulletin. Picks will be supplied by the President.
12. We are having a Bake Sale next Saturday. If you see your name, don't bother to bring anything. The church does not have "diarrhea" insurance and is tired of being sued. Here we go: Sista Jenkins, Sista
Martin, Sister Lattimo' (she don't like to be called Lattimore), Sista Beulah and the lady who's always smiling (sorry sister we don't know your name)
13. We will be taking up a collection for the annual Pastor's Gold Teeth Fund. He will be having them polished and will be adding two more.
Hallelujah..
14. The deadline for entering the Big Hat contest has passed so ladies and Jerome, please stop wearing your big hats. The people behind you
can't see.
15. Anyone caught eating in the church will be asked to leave if they didn't bring enough for the pastor's wife. Ya'll know she greedy and it
just ain't right to tempt her.
Posted By:
Tuesday, August 2nd 2005 at 4:41PM
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