When Michelle Met Barack: Is There a Lesson For Single Women? I cannot get enough of seeing the First Family all together. They epitomize our often espoused "family values" of a loving married couple, raising two adorable kids and with a new puppy to boot. It doesn't get any better than that. And certainly our President is a handsome man, seemingly devoted and perpetually smitten with his lovely and accomplished wife.
I've heard a whole lot of women, mostly black women, express envy at Mrs. Obama's life and life mate. "I want a man, just like that!" they say. But the truth is, when Barack Obama met Michelle Robinson he was in law school and drove a car with a hole in the floor.
In an interview, Mrs. Obama put it this way: "Barack didn't pledge riches, only a life that would be interesting."
How many of you single ladies would have signed on for that?
Over at The Root, Jenée Desmond-Harris has her doubts. And she lays them out in a candid take on the dating aspirations of many professional black women:
The idea that things are hard for black women who want to date black men who match us in academic and career success is a well-worn cultural narrative.
But if black women are going to defy the statistics, they need to start being more realistic. Holding out for the perfect man, someone who is intellectual but not nerdy-cool but not arrogant-impeccably dressed but not effeminate-not a player but with just the right amount of edge-is useless. Smart can go with a little nerdy. Artsy can be accompanied by off-beat. Ambitious and focused may mean less than a social butterfly. Yes, there was that one guy in law school who was easily 6'5'', a Rhodes Scholar and a rapper, with a baby face to top things off. I'm not saying it's impossible, but please!
And let's be fair. We expect men to resist what society tells them about ideals when it comes to us-God, help the brother who admits a preference for skin or hair displayed on every magazine cover; or the arrogant fool who holds out for his own Clair Huxtable, not acknowledging that The Cosby Show was fiction. We're justifiably upset when unrealistic standards are imposed on us, but many of us don't seem to give black men any breaks in return when it comes to the superficial.
Would most Type A, professional women have dated Barack when he was a broke, big-eared organizer with a funny name? I don't know. I picked my husband because of an intellectual, spiritual and physical connection that was apparent to both of us very early on. It seems to me all three are necessary for a long and happy marriage. Michelle Obama talks about "falling" for her husband early on, too, so the connection was there.
What are YOUR thoughts?
Posted By: Devon Marshall
Tuesday, June 16th 2009 at 9:54AM
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