I've been doing some heavy thinking these past few weeks, and I need your advice once again. Many of you don't know this but, I did have an girlfriend (now my ex) who hurt me very deeply. It's a long story, so if you have time, read on. If not, I understand.
I met this girl in college. This was after I had been hurt by several females on college, and I was thinking about being through with Black women for good. I was thinking about moving on to White, Hispanic, Latino, etc. women. Black women just weren't treating me right...and it hurt to know my own kind would treat me so wrong.
Anyway, we were doing some Black history projects for a class. I got up...did my thing (seriously)...sat down...and was ready for class to be over. She got up and did her thing, but I didn't really notice her. Me and my homeboy went the compuer lab later, and I noticed her again, and we got to talking. She invited me to this poetry thing, and I was like...why not?
I went to check it out. I dropped a poem (pretty dope) and the night went on. Afterwards, we exchanged numbers, and so on.
To shorten it up a little, the next couple of days, we just called and talked. We went to the cafe together with my homeboys and stuff. We just became good friends. However, there was a Mardi Gras ball coming up, and I invited her to come with me. We went...had a GOOD time (no...there wasn't any s*x)...and we were very interested in each other.
So...we connected. It was good. We both pretty much believed in the same thing...except she was a little stronger in God than I was (I was going through my "does God exist?" thing). But that didn't stop us...as I realized God did exist to give me a fine, Black woman.
Anywho, she was having trouble with the soccer team. She said they didn't like her, and always set her up. They supposedly set her up for a credit card scam (which she was found guilty of) and so on. I still don't know if this is true. Anyway, she said she had to transfer to even play soccer as the team captains didn't like her. I was like, do what you gotta do to be happy. Honestly, I didn't want her to go...but I didn't want her to be unhappy either.
To shorten it again...(I told you it was long)...the summer came, and she was heading home. I was in summer school. I called her. No answer. Called again...no answer. Like a concerned boyfriend, I called her mom up and left a message for her mom to let me know if she was ok. I got an e-mail the next day, and she was ok. She was in Dallas with her dad.
So, I'm chilling now. I had some girls approach me during summer school, and I told them I was taken (which I should've stayed in contact with them). I'm thinking everything's cool, right? Wrong. She doesn't call for like a week. So I call her...no answer. Leave a message, letting her know to call me back and stuff. No reply. I'm just calling and calling...no reply.
I finally do get through to her, and she gives me some story about her having problems (she had her head cracked from a soccer kick). I was feeling guilty and stuff. So, I called again after that...no answer. This time...she never picked up the phone. I sensed then, that she'd either cheated on me or something, so I broke up with her. (This is a LONG story...I'm tired of typing...)
So...the Fall semester rolls around, and I'm single...but the ladies that were interested in me are taken. I wasn't tripping though...I enjoyed being single. So...I'm chilling with my homeboys, and my other homeboy (who didn't come to school that semester) tells me something that made my heart stop. "Dude, I went on BlackPlanet, and Keisha gay." I was like..."What?" I checked it out...and all the pics I took of her on there and she saying she's a straight lesbian.
Man...I was hurt. That was some deep ish man. It had me questioning whether or not if I was a good man...if I was good for women to date and stuff...that ish hurt man. I'm talking about I was crying. It hurts to have someone you love cheat on you...but to change s*xual preferences on you altogether...that's deep.
Fast forwarding...we eventually met again. We met at an HBCU Newspaper conference. She wrote me some BS lettter saying she knew she hurt me and stuff. I didn't really pay no attention to it, but she started acting like nothing happened. People who knew me that were there knew of the history, but she acted as if she did the right thing.
NOW...down to my question...should I forgive and forget? It's been almost a year since I last spoke to her. She gave me her number...but I'm like...why call? What we gonna talk about? "So...how does she compare to me?" I don't know man...I'm just really confused. Anyway, what do you think I should do? Let bygones be bygones...or forget about it completely?
Posted By: Darryl D. Smith
Wednesday, July 13th 2005 at 11:31AM
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