Marriage
Aiight I've been noticing that there is a lot of
people my age who are married/engaged. I personally
don't understand this. I don't really plan on getting
married til after I turn 25 (maybe even 30). The
reason for this is simply because I want to be
established (meaning being rich and famous) and set before I take that big of a
personal and financial risk. Now back on topic, the
majority of people my age who get into marrige do it
simply because of love. My thought on it is that it
is deeper than that and there must be a TRUE
understanding between the man and the women. Many
people simply cannot understand this TRUE
understanding and THAT is the reason marriages fail.
What is this understanding? Ok I'll explain:
(Jacked from the IC)
A good woman in a marriage with a man. They are there
for each other and they take care of their
responsibilites. See but this woman lets a man be a
man. Other than taken care of his duties, the man may
be out and about doing what you call cheating. The man
goes out and the streets and does his dirt, but he
doesn't bring it to the home front. Rest assure that
the woman in the marriage knows what this man is
doing. People from the outside like some of yall don't
understand why she continues to be with him. She
remains with him, because they have that understanding
that some people can't understand. This is the type of
understanding that every real man wants in his
marriage (not saying that every real man cheats). Now I know what type of responses I'm going
to get:
Hes not a real man if he cheats
Its not a real marriage if hes cheating
she must have low self-esteem for him to cheat on her
he might bring std's to her, you can't be so loose
this day and age
blah blah blah blah blah
But women cheat also. Just about or prolly even more than men do. Every girl I have had slept with from at HU had boyfriends at the time of the deed (and all claimed to love thier boyfriends, etc.) But with women though s*x is more emotional and the women who can have s*x with no strings attached are definitely in the minority. When you take into the account the s*xual nature of females, its not surprising why its deemed worse when a women cheats. yeah its a double standard, but it's one that is justified by the two totally different attitudes men and women have when it comes to s*x.
A better way to reverse the role of this understanding is the man who stays with a woman who nags him all day, throws hissy fits, and threatens him for child support. She fakes headaches to get out of s*x but flirts with the pool man. She proceeds to then go out to do what men refer as "spending up all his cheese/gold-digging". He doesn't really get mad at her for it in fact, he embraces those qualities and let the woman be a woman. They have a mutual understanding that that is a real woman's nature.
The movie Ray and that HBO movie Lackawanna Blues both portray this understanding in a somewhat accurate matter.
I'm asking anybody who reads this: Can you understand
the understanding between a man and a woman?
people my age who are married/engaged. I personally
don't understand this. I don't really plan on getting
married til after I turn 25 (maybe even 30). The
reason for this is simply because I want to be
established (meaning being rich and famous) and set before I take that big of a
personal and financial risk. Now back on topic, the
majority of people my age who get into marrige do it
simply because of love. My thought on it is that it
is deeper than that and there must be a TRUE
understanding between the man and the women. Many
people simply cannot understand this TRUE
understanding and THAT is the reason marriages fail.
What is this understanding? Ok I'll explain:
(Jacked from the IC)
A good woman in a marriage with a man. They are there
for each other and they take care of their
responsibilites. See but this woman lets a man be a
man. Other than taken care of his duties, the man may
be out and about doing what you call cheating. The man
goes out and the streets and does his dirt, but he
doesn't bring it to the home front. Rest assure that
the woman in the marriage knows what this man is
doing. People from the outside like some of yall don't
understand why she continues to be with him. She
remains with him, because they have that understanding
that some people can't understand. This is the type of
understanding that every real man wants in his
marriage (not saying that every real man cheats). Now I know what type of responses I'm going
to get:
Hes not a real man if he cheats
Its not a real marriage if hes cheating
she must have low self-esteem for him to cheat on her
he might bring std's to her, you can't be so loose
this day and age
blah blah blah blah blah
But women cheat also. Just about or prolly even more than men do. Every girl I have had slept with from at HU had boyfriends at the time of the deed (and all claimed to love thier boyfriends, etc.) But with women though s*x is more emotional and the women who can have s*x with no strings attached are definitely in the minority. When you take into the account the s*xual nature of females, its not surprising why its deemed worse when a women cheats. yeah its a double standard, but it's one that is justified by the two totally different attitudes men and women have when it comes to s*x.
A better way to reverse the role of this understanding is the man who stays with a woman who nags him all day, throws hissy fits, and threatens him for child support. She fakes headaches to get out of s*x but flirts with the pool man. She proceeds to then go out to do what men refer as "spending up all his cheese/gold-digging". He doesn't really get mad at her for it in fact, he embraces those qualities and let the woman be a woman. They have a mutual understanding that that is a real woman's nature.
The movie Ray and that HBO movie Lackawanna Blues both portray this understanding in a somewhat accurate matter.
I'm asking anybody who reads this: Can you understand
the understanding between a man and a woman?
What you described sounds exactly like the understanding between married couples in other latin countries.
Not that it is right or wrong, but it is an understanding... But it is a pretty dangerous lifestyle.
I'm married now... But, honestly after being married for 5 years, I've learned what really matters in this country/culture.
It is a legal binding contract.
So when you go into it, better understand the laws of your state. Also, depending on your situation, you could be screwed pretty terribly because of that contract.
But last note on this topic: If you are with somebody, no matter what, be true and honest. If somebody can't deal with you being you... Holla. Also gotta know what sacrifices you are willing to make to be with another person and vice versa.
I believe in marriage, union between man and woman, but the legal contract governed by rules of the state, I don't agree with (and it is different on a state by state basis). Be careful. Alimony ain't just something that applies to rich folks.