I know this is supposed to a happy and proud month, but I can't stop thinking about how horrible this month has been to me the last four years. November 18, 2004 I lost someone really close to me to gun violence. I loved him with all of my heart. He was like a father to me and was only 23. He was my big cousin. I remember thinking he wasn't going to die. I needed him and I was sure God understood that. I mean he was shot many times before and didn't die, even in the head! But I guess God needed him more than me and took him to be at home by His side. I still think about him, but I laugh and smile more than I cry. But when I thought things were getting better for me emotinally, the Devil threw a wrench in my life. November 11, 2007 I lost another older cousin. He was the brother to my cousin who passed four years ago. I couldn't believe the news I recieved when my Grandmother woke me up to tell me. I was in shock. I found myself crying on and off but no more than 3 minutes at a time. I was just able to reconnect with him and this happened. I was mad at God for a long time and blamed him for what happened. It took for my mother and common sense to let me know that this was the work of the Devil. Only the Devil will tell a coward to shoot someone because they brother didn't know how to fight and decided to step to someone who could. I think about him and his brother everyday. When I look into their kids face and listen to them talk, watch them walk and play, and even smile I think about their dads. They remind me so much of them that all I want to do is be in their life because I feel as if I'm standing next to my older cousins. So this month a week a part I will be stuck remembering the horrible night and morning that changed my life in a bad way. I love and miss my cousin and will go off on any person who has something negative to say about them. I'm still struggling on forgiving the killers but I feel that I will never be able to do such a thing.
Rest In Peace Kefentse "Nitty" Taylor & Hasani "Sani""60 Cent" Hudson
Posted By: Leandra Hudson
Monday, November 3rd 2008 at 11:21PM
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